Dirty Dishes Read online

  DIRTY DISHES

  DIRTY

  DISHES

  A RESTAURATEUR’S STORY OF

  PASSION, PAIN, AND PASTA

  PINO LUONGO

  and ANDREW FRIEDMAN

  Copyright © 2009 by Pino Luongo and Andrew Friedman

  Foreword copyright © 2009 by Anthony Bourdain

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information address Bloomsbury USA, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.

  Published by Bloomsbury USA, New York

  All papers used by Bloomsbury USA are natural, recyclable products made from wood grown in well-managed forests. The manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

  Portions of chapters 5 and 7 appeared in somewhat different form in Don’t Try This at Home, edited by Kimberly Witherspoon and Andrew Friedman. They are reprinted here by kind permission of Inkwell Management.

  LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

  Luongo, Pino.

  Dirty dishes : a restaurateur’s story of passion, pain, and pasta / Pino Luongo and Andrew Friedman.—1st ed.

  p. cm.

  eISBN: 978-1-60819-196-3

  1. Luongo, Pino. 2. Restaurateurs—New York (State)—New York—Biography. I. Friedman, Andrew, 1967– II. Title.

  TX910.5.L86A3 2009

  647.95092—dc22

  2008034860

  First U.S. Edition 2009

  1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

  Typeset by Westchester Book Group

  Printed in the United States of America by Quebecor World Fairfield

  Contents

  Foreword by Anthony Bourdain

  Introduction by Andrew Friedman

  1. The Fugitive

  2. Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here

  3. Land of Opportunity

  4. Home Away from Home

  5. Start Spreading the News

  6. Dirty Dishes, and Other Things That Bring Out the Beast

  7. High Tide

  8. Why Pasta Matters

  9. Mothers and Sons

  10. Critical Condition: The Problem with Restaurant Reviewers, Blogs, and Surveys

  11. Strange Bedfellows

  12. The Hidden Table: Running a Reservation Book

  13. The Restaurant Junkie

  14. A Star Is Bored: Interview Questions for Young American Chefs

  15. The New Normalcy

  16. Closing Time

  Epilogue: Cooking at Last

  Appendix: Recipes, My Way

  Acknowledgments

  To my wife, Jessie, and my children, Marco, Jacobella, and Lorenzo—you are the backbone of my up-and-down life—and to all the people who, intentionally or not, entered my life or my restaurants—I hope you enjoyed yourselves.

  —Pino Luongo

  Foreword

  DIRTY DISHES IS either a classic restaurant morality tale of what happens when you fly too high and too close to the sun—or a spiritual journey, a cycle beginning and ending with the simple good things of Italy. It’s either the memoir of an ambitious, creative, food-loving kid from Tuscany who grows up to be a successful New York City restaurateur—or the redacted confessions of the Dark Prince of Italian fine dining, a man loved and hated with equal fervor by the wide swath of New Yorkers left in his wake.

  Its author, Pino Luongo, is either the perpetrator of some of the greatest and most hubristic follies in the recent history of the American restaurant business—or another victim of circumstance, of his own success, of a notoriously cruel and crowded marketplace, and of the caprice of the dining public. Or he’s the happy, self-actualized owner-proprietor of Centolire, an excellent Upper East Side restaurant.

  Personally, I think all of the above statements are true. Pino’s like that: a complicated man. It’s only fair that this foreword remain largely speculative, as so many thousands of hours have been spent by so many trying to figure Pino out. He may love simple, straightforward things with genuine passion, and he has always been frank (to say the least) about his likes and dislikes. But one underestimates him at one’s peril.

  What is clear and inarguable is that he was instrumental in creating the template for what we now take for granted as acceptable Italian food in New York City (and, increasingly, across the country). He was a proponent of menu items which then were unthinkable to serve, but are now standard and much-loved fare. His was the first restaurant to show me, for instance, what a properly sauced pasta could be—how important the pasta itself was. He turned everything I thought I knew about Italian food—all the conventional wisdom of the time—on its head and woke me up to an entire world of food and culture. My Fran-cophilic roots were shaken to the core and have never recovered.

  That I have recently married into a large Northern Italian family I blame in no small part on Pino. That during the last World Cup finals I betrayed my French roots and rooted for Italia. Pino’s fault. That I now crave slowly braised ragùs, Sardinian flatbread, focaccia pizza with robiola cheese and white truffles, osso buco . . . His fault. That I even know what spaghetti alla chitarra is? Him. Again.

  Did I mention yet that the bastard fired me?

  When I met Pino for the first time, shortly after I’d been hired as sous chef at his excellent Le Madri, he was at the very peak of his powers and influence. I was summoned to his lair above Il Toscanaccio, a sleek, dimly lit room surrounded by offices and conference areas where terrified minions clacked away on keyboards or hunched over their telephones, passing along his orders in hushed tones. Somewhere across an ocean, boats were being loaded with wheels of aged parmesan and cold-pressed olive oils—fuel for the ever-expanding empire. All across town, chefs twitched involuntarily every time their kitchen phones rang. Would it be Pino, calling from his car, mandating an immediate menu change? Managers sharpened their knives, ready to plunge them into their general managers’ back should the need arise. Busboys powdered and groomed themselves, fearful of the involuntary flop sweat an unexpected visit from Pino might induce. It seemed, sometimes, from inside his sphere of influence, that the entire world’s nervous system was wired to Pino’s. He caught a cold? We all coughed.

  Yet the man who peered at me from across the desk that day had an amused look on his face. A bit world-weary, for sure—the face of a guy who’d seen a lot. But not the face of a jaded or cynical man. This was unusual in a business where such feelings are almost compulsory. Where the daily grind, the grim realities of feeding and liquoring up the general public, tend to discourage such things as love and idealism. And yet I was looking at . . . an optimist.

  Granted, an optimist who gifted me with many such Golden Moments as: “It’s good to have enemies. It means you are important.”

  Or, when asked when his chefs could again begin ordering from a particular company whose owner, Pino felt, had been insulting in his demands for money: “When? When? When he crawls across Fifty-ninth Street and sucks my fucking DICK!”

  Or, in discussing another restaurateur with a tough reputation: “He’s the biggest son-of-a-bitch in New York. And this is me talking!”

  In spite of this, when I remember Pino, it’s always a smiling man who comes to mind. (In fact, I can take issue with only one minor point in this book: He is way too kind to me. I was in so far over my head at Coco Pazzo Teatro, the Titanic could have passed over me unnoticed. I was a virtual Opie Taylor surrounded by Medecis.) Reminiscing about his early days in the business, about his childhood in Italy, about meals eaten, mistakes made, friends and enemies both, Pino always seemed entirely in his element. And it’s worth mentioning here that of t
he major decisions, restaurant ventures, concepts, and business moves described in this account, nearly all them were brilliant. Coco Pazzo, Le Madri, Il Toscanaccio, Sapore di Mare, and Mad. 61 were all excellent and innovative restaurants. Only a few other projects turned out to be “really bad ideas.” It’s significant as well that one of the moves for which Pino was most excoriated by the press, the one for which he was ultimately punished, was Tuscan Square, a concept he cherished and felt particularly close to.

  In the restaurant business, love is often a killer. This is a business where all too often a place where people gather to eat and drink is in fact a “high concept,” designed, from the ground up, by committee. Everything from the name on the door to the menu selections are the result of market surveys and conventional wisdom. This is how we arrive at big-box monstrosities marrying one demographic’s vague fondness for Chinese or Japanese food with another’s need for brightly colored girl drinks. No one is home in these places. They are designed not for anyone in particular, but instead for a bland cross section of perceived appetites.

  This was never the case with Pino’s places. His restaurants never lacked for an identity. You knew who was talking to you with every dish, with every painting on the wall, with every waiter’s gesture. Though a great number of the city’s best and most prominent Italian chefs have passed at one time or another through Pino’s kitchens, it was Pino’s voice speaking to you from the moment you sat down. A man trying to convince friends and strangers both to enjoy the food and the things and the country he loved. With this book, he gets a chance to speak to you directly.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Venice

  September 2008

  Introduction

  I WANT YOU to take a walk with me to meet Pino Luongo.”

  “Why?”

  “I want you to take over his account.”

  Fuck me!

  “No, David. Really? C’mon. Really?”

  The year is 1998. I’m sitting at my desk at the public relations firm of Kratz and Jensen, and my life is complicated enough without the possibility of Pino Luongo being added to it, but that’s just what the firm’s co-owner David Kratz is doing.

  I don’t know Pino, but he’s a notorious figure in the restaurant community of New York City. There are stories about Pino that have circulated and snowballed for years, the way the legend of Keyser Söze did in The Usual Suspects. Dude came over from Italy in 1980, not speaking a word of English. Three years later, he opened his first restaurant, pilfering the entire staff of the place where he was once employed as a busboy, or so they say. Within five years he sat atop a burgeoning empire of his own, some of the most influential and successful Italian eateries in New York City history. He is rumored to have a monster temper—to be prone to telling off anyone and everyone, even the most powerful food writers in town, and to firing employees for sport.

  I have never met the man, but I have admired his restaurants. In June 1996, I passed a wine-soaked Saturday evening at his Sapore di Mare in East Hampton, celebrating my birthday, and was seduced by the setting—an enormous, spot-on re-creation of a seaside Italian villa done up in terra-cotta tiles and white stucco walls—and the food. A relative newcomer to fine dining at the time, I was struck by the seemingly effortless meeting of simplicity and sophistication. An orec-chiette, or ear-shaped pasta, with broccoli rabe, house-made sausage, shriveled cherry tomatoes, and a dusting of parmesan, was so perfect and profound that I can still capture the whiff of toasted garlic and recall the dreamy lighting of the dining room, the din of the well-heeled revelers surrounding me as I dug in. That same summer, in the enormous parking lot behind his restaurant Le Madri in Manhattan, he staged a series called “Cinema al Fresco” every Sunday night, projecting movies on the wall of a nearby apartment building, and selling food and drink from the restaurant. I went one Sunday to watch Cinema Paradiso with some friends. I lingered, sipping espresso at my table, until the last credit crawled its way up the side of the building and past some poor soul’s window, but somehow I never caught a glimpse of Pino himself.

  I know what he looks like, though. At the agency, we maintain a number of oversized, black-leather-bound portfolios with press clippings about various clients preserved under sheets of crinkly plastic, and I’ve seen David flip through Pino’s greatest hits at more than a few sit-downs with prospective clients. Pino has dark olive skin, and in most of the clips, he looks right at the camera and smiles like a Cheshire cat. The smile is the same from article to article, but the man, who was an actor back in his native Italy, is dressed in a variety of costumes: a black turtleneck for a lifestyle publication, a business suit in another. I remember thinking of Scott Fitzgerald’s line about there never having been a great biography of a novelist because “he’s too many people if he’s any good.” Thinking of Pino in all these guises, I wonder if the same principle applies to restaurateurs.

  A couple of months earlier, the woman who had been running Pino’s account had asked me for some help editing a letter: the food writer for the New York Daily News and on-air personality on WOR Radio had savaged one of Pino’s restaurants and Pino had dictated the broad strokes of a blistering declaration of war that he planned to send to the critic. It was still in somewhat broken English, but the meaning was clear, and there were some irresistible turns of phrase; my favorite line was how Pino didn’t know “what the fuck you think you learned on the Perillo Tour you took to Italy last summer”—implying that the critic, who had just penned a book on Italian food, should remember where he came from (the United States) and where Pino came from (Florence).

  I had read it to the bottom, alternately amused and appalled, then had looked up and said what any public relations expert would have said: “He can’t send this.”

  “You haven’t met Pino yet, have you?”

  “No.”

  “He’ll send it.”

  A FEW HOURS after he appeared in my doorway, David and I meet Pino for dinner at Le Madri, the third restaurant he opened. He’s a broad-shouldered man, with a wide face and pugnacious nose that bring to mind a bull, and this impression is enhanced by a peculiar special effect: he always, even when sitting perfectly still, seems to be moving forward, to be charging. Maybe it’s his eyes, which are constantly darting around. In time, I will learn that Pino likes to meet people almost exclusively in his own restaurants, on his turf, and he is forever looking for a waiter to correct, a longtime customer to greet. And so the eyes are always moving, searching, and the man never seems still.

  Despite his reputation, I find Pino to be utterly charming. As we sip wine, he regales us with stories about the goings-on in his various restaurants and enterprises—vividly acting out a series of vignettes about moronic waiters and shifty lawyers and city bureaucrats and high-maintenance diners. After about thirty minutes of this, I’m firmly on his side: “No wonder he’s always getting into fights,” I think, “the man is clearly surrounded by idiots!”

  I take on Pino’s account, though neither I nor any of the associates who work for me really get to know him very well because he has a marketing team in place and we deal mostly with them. But I have recently co-written a cookbook with another client; and Pino, who has written two himself, hires me to write the proposal for his third, and, presumably, to write the book as well. At Le Madri, we sit and talk about what the book, which he has decided should be called Simply Tuscan, will be exactly. We get to comparing notes about our favorite foods and Pino says, “You know what I love: tuna, grilled, thinly sliced, with Tuscan fries. You ever have that?”

  “No.”

  He waves over the nearest waiter: “Tell the kitchen I’m going to make grilled tuna and fries. Set it up!”

  The waiter nods and a few minutes later, Pino leaves the table, returning, sweaty from the stove, with two plates of charred sliced tuna, ruby red on the inside, practically blackened on the outside. Next to the tuna is a mound of fries, tossed with crispy herbs (they went into the fryer with the potatoes
) and piled so generously high that a few have tumbled onto the fish. It’s the ideal summer meal, and we eat and resume our brainstorming on the book. At one point, after I clarify a point he has just made, Pino clasps my wrist with his hand and says, “I’m going to use you a lot. You know why? Because you know how to listen.”

  The moment is a revelation for me: walking around the Flatiron District a few days later with David Kratz, I say, “I think I figured Pino out.”

  David smiles wryly. “Oh, yeah?”

  “He doesn’t suffer fools very well.”

  “You know, Andrew,” David says. “That’s true. I’ve always gotten along great with Pino. I know what people say, but we’ve never had a problem.” David paused as we walked along, his hands in his pockets. “But you haven’t figured Pino out.”

  WORKING ON THE proposal was highly entertaining; interviewing Pino often felt like attending a theater performance for an audience of one. But no sooner did we sell the project to a publisher than Pino disappeared. I went on with my life as a marketing executive. I didn’t hear from him for months, and I more or less assumed he had decided to hire another writer—which would have been bad form, but not unheard of. Then, about a year later, Pino’s assistant called me out of the blue. With just eight weeks left before his publishing deadline, he was ready to “get started” on the manuscript. I chuckled and made an appointment.

  When I showed up at the executive offices of Pino’s company, Toscorp, three floors above Le Madri, I was struck by the unmistakable signs of crisis, beginning with the fact that I was kept waiting for nearly an hour outside the conference room, where he had all of his managers and accountants holed up for a meeting. Every few minutes, the door would open and one of his lieutenants would emerge, panic dancing across his face, and scurry off around the corner, dashing back a moment later with a file or a piece of paper that I surmised had some bearing on the goings-on behind the door.